Pushing through

I'm off crutches. I'm only wearing my brace when I'm outside in an "unpredictable" environment. I've definitely bumped up a level in PT. I'm doing partial one leg squats, resistance work with a band, and wall squats. I should be out of my brace on Thursday.

So, all is well physically, but I'm in a total funk. I've been thinking about skating in the future. My brain, body and heart are in very different places with this. I haven't made any decisions, and I won't for a while, but it's weighing heavily on my mind. Hopefully at the end of my year of inury, surgery, and recovery I'll have a clearer picture of where I'm going. And I don't need to decide anything now. Yes, I'll keep reminding myself of that.

Clean

After 17 days, I was finally able to shower yesterday. And yes, it was that good. I was freaking exhausted afterward from standing up braceless for quite a while, but it was so worth it.

I think it takes me about 5 times as long to do everything right now. It's all very slow going. I'm being extra careful and conscious of every movement.

Walking around the house without a brace has been awesome and little scary. My left leg doesn't have the walking motion down quite yet and I'm still a little peg legged, mostly due to fear of it giving out on me.

I have been doing my PT exercises obsessively and feel stronger every day. The only place I'm feeling pain in down my knee where my patellar tendon was harvested for the surgery (Kerry, sorry if that grossed you out). But other than that, I'm still just feeling general soreness. I haven't taken any pain meds since early in the week.

I still haven't made it to a practice. I had wanted to go yesterday, but I went to a brunch then fell asleep for 3 hours because I was so exhausted. I'm really hoping my energy will start coming up soon. I must see derby this week.

Too soon

A major meltdown over a minor issue at work today made me realize that I may have gone back a little too quickly. Unfortunately, when I'm really tired I get easily overwhelmed and weepy. Not a good combo for work. No big deal, my coworkers are rad, but I think I should have worked from home for another week. I'm going to stay home tomorrow. It's for the best.

I had another physical therapy session this morning. I'm down to one crutch and braceless at home. It's going to be so nice to sleep without my dang brace tonight. I can start going to the gym again too. I can ride the bike for 20-45 minutes, do leg presses and hamstring curls. 2 weeks out of surgery. That is so damn amazing to me.

I have been dealing with a lot of swelling. Oh, and I haven't been able to shower yet. I keep unclotting a little part of my incision when I ride the bike. And I can't shower until it is completelyh scabbed over. This, my friends, is very annoying. Sponge baths really just don't compare to a nice hot shower.

Out in the world

I had a different person for PT today. She's very different from my current pt, personality wise, but it was still very challenging. I did 10 minutes on the bike followed by a bunch of leg press work. Then step work and balancing stuff. Good jesus, I'm tired and sore.

Oh, and then I went to get my stitches out. Aside from the post-op nausea, this was the worst part of this whole ordeal. My doctor's assistant, who is the nicest girl in the world, took my stitches out. It was a long under the skin stitch that ran the length of my incision. It took a good 8-12 pulls to get that sucker out. We were both sweating, with a little "ow, ow, ow" from me, and mostly laughing. But it's out. I'm stitch free, but I still can't take a damn shower. The very bottom of the incision is still oozing (gross) and I can't shower until that stops. I think I keep busting it open when I'm doing my exercises.

I went back to work this afternoon too. I was so damn exhausted. It was nice to be at my desk and to see my coworkers. I really did miss them and it was so nice to be social again. I think I walked more today than I have since surgery. My office seems a lot bigger now that I'm not moving around so hot. And I hate to ask people to get me coffee and food and to carry stuff. OK, fine, I kind of like it.

Back to life

I'm starting back to work tomorrow. I have a PT appointment at 10am, then I'm heading into the office. I'm mixed about it. I have such a good routine going at home with icing, exercising and quality time with the dog. But the days are getting longer and I'm ready to get back to life. And I can start driving again. Poor Anthony won't have to be my official chauffer anymore and we can return the rental minivan.

I'm curious to see how my energy levels and knee swelling go. I'll be doing more walking tomorrow than the past week combined. I'll be sitting with my knee escalated and I'll be icing during the day.

My trainer Britt came to visit me yesterday. I'm so excited to start working with her again a few months down the road. Exercising when you're trying to get a joint functioning again and really want to be able to walk soon is a very different game.

So, I think it'll be back to work this week and I'll add in watching derby practice next week. I really want to start going tomorrow, but I know I need to take it slow. But I'm missing derby so much.

Bragging Rights - 10 Days Post-Op

Unfortunate nap times have interrupted my blogging. I also starting working from home on Wednesday and have a strict "no blogging during work hours" personal policy.

So rewinding a few days, my first appointment post-op was pretty damn awesome. I had been wrapped from ankle to thigh in ace bandages so I had no idea what my leg looked like. Aside from the idiodine from surgery still discoloring my leg, I had pretty much no bruising and very little swelling. I'm glad I didn't try to change my dressings at home, because the amount of dried blood was pretty freaky. Normal, they say, but it would have scared me for sure.

After the dressings came off, I got my first look at the placement of my first official surgical scar. Not bad. About a 3 inch insicion from the middle of my knee down. It was still covered in sterile strips, so I didn't get a great view. I had the stiches removed from the 2 smaller incisions, but I have to wait until Tuesday to get the rest out. Yes, that means no shower until Tuesday. More hair washing for Big Tony until then.

The surgeon came in took a look and tugged at my knee a little. He was very happy with the stability. He had a cold, so he didn't want to get too close or spend too much time. He'll check in with me when I go in on Tuesday to see Nicole, his assistant, to get the rest of my stitches removed.

After I visited the doctor, I moved on to my first post-op physical therapy appointment. This is where the bragging begins. One of the first concerns after you have an ACL reconstruction is the ability to straighten your leg to zero degrees. I had been doing my post-op exercises religiously, and my first measurement was -6 degrees. My PT was psyched. For bending, I could get to 60 degrees on my own and 90 with assistance. Very, very good news. Range of motion is a huge part of recovery and I am well on my way.

I also ended up on the exercise bike my first visit, which surprised me but the stretch felt so good. I just went back and forth slowly, but not all the way around. I tried, but couldn't do it because my quad muscles are so tight. And I walked across the PT room without a brace, but with my crutches. My knee feels weak, but not unstable. It's cool to move and not feel the side to side looseness I had with my ACL gone.

Yesterday I was was doing my PT at home and hit another great milestone. I went all the way around on my exercise bike. It took a few minutes of warming up, but by the third minute I was going around in full circles. Yeehaw!

I went back for my second therapy session today. I had a great time showing off my full circle around on the bike. My PT took off my sterile strips and I got to check out my scar. Not bad. Nice and straight. Kind of gross with old blood. I have plenty of pictures but I'm debating whether or not to post them. They're pretty gross. But if Anthony can handle it, I think most people can. He's not so much for the blood.

I had my extension and flexion measured again today. -9 degrees on the extension (full for me is -10 degrees) and 90 degrees unassisted/100 assisted on the flexion (full for me is 120 degrees). I am so damn happy and so glad I did my pre-op PT religiously. I walked with no brace and one crutch at PT today.

I'll be headed back to work on Tuesday. I'm a little nervous, but excited to be back in the land of the living. I'll take ice with me and elevate my leg while I'm at my desk. I know I'll be tired and sore, but I'm ready to do more. I'll wear my brace and use my crutches at work, but around the house I'm down to the brace and one crutch. I know these are baby steps, but I love seeing my progress. It's so satisfying watching my work pay off.

I got a new exercise today that's a bit painful. I lay on my stomach (which is more complicated than it seems with a bum knee) and do a hamstring curl. I hold the curl and lift my leg off the bed with my glutes. This is the most painful exercise by far. It taxes the area where my tendon was removed to create my new ACL. I only have do do 5 reps and that's plenty.

Overall, I'm feeling great. I'm ready to get out of the house more, drive again, and to not have to ask Anthony to do so much for me. He's been my hero and a freaking angel throughout this entire process. I don't know how I'll thank him for this. I would do the same for him if the situation was reversed, but he's been an amazing caregiver and has put his life on hold for a couple of weeks to be with me. Lucky, lucky me.

Day 5 and the ants are in my pants

Holy moly, I just want to get up and run around the house. I'm not even asking to breathe fresh air. Just a couple of laps!

Hey, I'll be the first one to spend a lazy Sunday hanging out on the couch reading and watching movies. But this compulsory couch surfing is getting old fast. I just need to keep reminding myself that it's completely neccessary for my healing and recovery.

I'll start working from home tomorrow and that will hopefully help the time pass. I'm headed out for doc appointments on Thursday, and I'm oh so ready for that outing.

Ace Wheeley came by and visited me yesterday. She is always so much fun to talk to. And she brought me a really good chocolate cupcake.

Day 3 post-op

I didn't have to take a pain killer before bed last night and I slept really well. I cannot believe how OK I feel.

This site provides an outline of the patellar tendon ACL recon surgery I had. It's hard to imagine that all of this happened 3 days ago, and I feel very little pain, just some soreness.

I'm so thankful for all of my doctors, nurses, physical therapists and the fact that I live somewhere that has access to such an amazing facility. I really feel like I'm getting the best care possible and I am so grateful.

I'm getting some great reading time in. And trash TV. And all the movies I've been wanting to see for a while.

I'm so happy that this post is a bit boring. Everything being "fine" right now is exactly what I need.

Almost 48 hours post surgery

I'm feeling pretty darn good. I had a bit of a rough night with pain around my incision and a little fever, but I feel much better today.

I ran through some PT exercises yesterday and I think I overdid it a bit. I talked to my PT today, and she told me that the pain was perfectly normal, but to cut back on my frequency and amount of reps a bit. And that I have plenty of time to work on my knee.

Anthony has been taking ridiculously good care of me. I can't say thank you enough times. He helps me ice my leg, get up for the bathroom (the only thing I stand up for), brings me whatever I need, helps me change my damn underpants, and is here for everything. He really is the best thing a girl could ever want. I'm one lucky lady.

I had my first visitor yesterday. The lovely Taunt-ya Harding came over and entertained me for a couple of hours. She also brought some of the best lasagna I have ever eaten. And another scallop shrimp pasta dish for tonight. I love my derby girls. It's a dang huge supportive family and I am so grateful for them.

Vivienne Hell is coming over in a bit. She's going to be sewing her rad devil dolls for Craftywonderland tomorrow and we'll talk our faces off. You know, the usual.

Yeehaw!

I'm home with a new ACL. Pain is minimal and I'm so happy to have it done. PHEW! More later, including pictures of the outside and inside of my knee!

I have surgery tomorrow

I'm nervous, but ready. I'll report back when I can type.

Send good thoughts my way.

Holy shit, it's February 4th!

One year ago today I attended my first Rose City Rollers bout, a night that totally changed my life! Wow.

This is putting a huge smile on my face. A year ago today, I saw Bossy Boots (now Slaymate) on a platform held up by boys with tiny bottoms and fez's, go-go-ing in skates. Who knew that while I was worrying that she would fall off and kill herself then that she would now be a really good friend of mine? Who knew that so many of these girls would be such a huge part of my life and that the Rose City Rollers would be my new family? That Ace and Vivienne and Goldie and Slaymate would become my close friends? That I would have the honor to be a part of the coolest group of women that I haven encountered in my entire life?

Even though this year has contained a fractured tailbone and a torn ACL, I will still say it was the best year of my life. No question.

One year ago today Anthony looked at me while we sat on the bleachers at the bout and said "Holy shit, you're going to do this". Holy shit, yes I am and yes I did!

Countdown

Surgery day is almost here. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking foward to it. It feels like it'll be a point where I can start working my way back into skating again. I'm so ready to get it done and start rehab.

I have the usual fears about going under, recovery, healing, etc, but I'm feeling pretty good overall. I know the work I've been doing pre-op is going to pay off big time in rehab.

I've been downed by a cold since I've been back from NYC. I haven't left the house since I got back from the airport. I've been feeling better bit by bit, day by day, and all I want is to feel healthy on my day of surgery. This practice couch time hasn't been the best. I'm going to go stir crazy, for sure. I've ordered a bunch of books from Amazon, and will send Anthony out daily for movies. Oddly enough, this will be the longest I've been away from work in 3 years. Wow, awesome vacation...