It's not puppies and kittens and rainbows
I scrimmaged for the first time with the league tonight. If you're expecting sunshine and rainbows and a fairy tale ending you can stop reading right about now.
If you want to hear the truth, it was not good. Not good at all. I was so nervous that I felt like I was going to throw up the whole night. I think it may have been a combo nerves and my tailbone injury left-overs, but my left hip bone locked-down like a fucking prison riot had just broken out. I stopped every few minutes to stretch and breathe, but I couldn't get it to loosen up and the pain was pretty bad.
Scrimmage time came up. I went in the first jam with the Fresh Meat vs. the rest of the league. I kept up with the pack for about, uh, a half a damn lap. Then I lost it. All I could see was myself falling further and further behind. And all I could feel was pain in my left hip. It was really bad. I got lapped by the pack. You think that 2 minutes isn't a long time. It felt like forever when I was so far behind.
I was really embarrassed to perform like that in front of the league. And because people are so rad, everyone was telling me not to worry about it and that I did a good job for my first time and that they had been there and they wanted to quit after every practice for a while. And what do I do when people are nice to me when I'm upset? That's right, I cry. And not a cute "I just won Miss America and these are tears of joy cry", but a gross old red eyed blotchy face cry. Dammit.
So here's what happens now. I already called Chocolate Thunder, and when he gets back from Denver with the travel team we're going to start training twice a week. I am going to work my damn ass off. I officially have my worst scrimmage ever under my belt. It's only uphill from here, really. Regardless of this bad night, I love derby so much and I will not give up on it. It's one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I will keep going. Word.
If you want to hear the truth, it was not good. Not good at all. I was so nervous that I felt like I was going to throw up the whole night. I think it may have been a combo nerves and my tailbone injury left-overs, but my left hip bone locked-down like a fucking prison riot had just broken out. I stopped every few minutes to stretch and breathe, but I couldn't get it to loosen up and the pain was pretty bad.
Scrimmage time came up. I went in the first jam with the Fresh Meat vs. the rest of the league. I kept up with the pack for about, uh, a half a damn lap. Then I lost it. All I could see was myself falling further and further behind. And all I could feel was pain in my left hip. It was really bad. I got lapped by the pack. You think that 2 minutes isn't a long time. It felt like forever when I was so far behind.
I was really embarrassed to perform like that in front of the league. And because people are so rad, everyone was telling me not to worry about it and that I did a good job for my first time and that they had been there and they wanted to quit after every practice for a while. And what do I do when people are nice to me when I'm upset? That's right, I cry. And not a cute "I just won Miss America and these are tears of joy cry", but a gross old red eyed blotchy face cry. Dammit.
So here's what happens now. I already called Chocolate Thunder, and when he gets back from Denver with the travel team we're going to start training twice a week. I am going to work my damn ass off. I officially have my worst scrimmage ever under my belt. It's only uphill from here, really. Regardless of this bad night, I love derby so much and I will not give up on it. It's one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I will keep going. Word.
posted by Kate at 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
Hey, I thought we had a deal? Don't make me whoop up on ya. And if you want to get some extra skate time in let me know. I am down for it anytime. Keep your chin up, lady.
Don't worry, it gets better. On my 1st scrimmage, I BLOCKED MY OWN JAMMER... out of bounds. Der! It's confusing at first, and frustrating.
I get all swelled up when I cry. and red. and sticky.
And don't scrimmage until you're ready again. you'll get there soon enough.
Woman! You've got an effed up hip! For the love of Bobble-head Jesus!!! All of the other girls are prolly as healthy as frick'n horses, aren't they...
I still can't believe you're out there. I get tired just reading this blaahg. Woof! Kudos!
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